Stani's Blog

Friday, 20 February 2015

5 Ways To A Better First Impression

Public speaking is a top fear for many people. I was given the opportunity to take a Toastmasters class to improve that skill. Talking in front of a crowd was something that I struggled with, and it was even more difficult when I stood up in front of my peers and co-workers. What I learned in that class has helped many of my formal interactions – whether that's a cocktail party with new people, a business lunch, or a speaking engagement – I’m much more comfortable talking to strangers than I used to be. I also learned the value of making a strong first impression and how to avoid some of the common pitfalls. Here are five tips I learned for coming across confident, smart and self-assured.

1. Up speak. This is one of my biggest pet peeves because I used to do it all the time. Up speaking refers to the act of turning a regular statement into what sounds more like a question. My sentences used to lilt higher, which made me sound unsure of myself instead of poised and assertive.

2. Don’t apologize. Unless you've wronged someone or made a mistake, there's no need to apologize. It's so common for women to start sentences with "I'm sorry but," which is completely unnecessary. I know the phrase is also often used as a "false apology," but it decreases the impact of your statement. Stand by what you're saying, since your opinion has value and shouldn't be lessened by apologizing.

3. Firm handshake. This may sound obvious, but I'm constantly surprised by how many women introduce themselves with a handshake that feels like a limp fish. In some cases, I think this is actually perpetuated by men, who will occasionally cradle my hand in theirs as if I'm a fragile doll instead of a normal woman. Make good eye contact, use a firm grip and a friendly smile especially when you get a hand-cradle shake.

4. Refrain from using fillers. At Toastmasters, one of the more uncomfortable lessons involved eliminating filler words. We'd be given a random topic to speak about for 1-2 minutes and someone would sit there tallying the amount of times you used words like um, uh, like and so on. It was painful. We all slowly learned that it was actually better to let there be short silences between thoughts than using fillers that don't add to the conversation.

5. Stand tall. I'm a fidgety person and can't sit still for extended periods of time. When it comes to social situations though, it's important to stand tall and avoid things that make you appear unfriendly, like crossing your arms or shifting your weight from side to side. If you look steady and approachable, you'll make a much stronger first impression.

Oscars Party Sandwich Bar

It's obvious that I'm a huge fan of build-your-own food bars (as evidenced by the breakfast taco and baked potato bars), so keeping in line with the theme, I wanted to create a sandwich bar for our low-key evening watching the Oscars. There are a lot of directions you can go with this, but I decided to keep it simple with a few classic ingredients, mixed in with one or two unexpected layers (i.e. Asian pear, spicy arugula). The key: provide a variety of flavors, without overwhelming people with too many options.

Pro Tips: How To Keep Your Shoes In Tip-Top Shape

Up until recently, I didn't take great care of my shoes. All of that changed after a recent dinner with a friend, when she walked in with what looked like a brand new pair of heels. I complimented her and didn't believe her when she told me they were twelve years old. That's when I decided to seek out Arturo Azinian of Arturo's. Azinian has been Los Angeles' "King of Sling" since 1964 – the last seventeen of which he's worked alongside his grandson, Ari. These master crafters have rescued the torn, stained, and broken shoes (and purses) of their devoted clients – extending the life of many Manolos and Louboutins. Here, Arturo and Ari share their tips on keeping your favorite shoes pristine, along with a great purse tip!

1. Check on your shoe’s “health." "Be diligent about checking the bottom of your shoes. People oftentimes forget to do this and will run their shoes into the ground. What could have been minor fixes become major ones. Things you should look out for include a nail peeking out out of the heel of your stiletto, or severely scratched soles. Most dressy heels have thin soles that will wear down easily. The preventative measure here is to add a thin layer of protective rubber. This is called a dancer’s sole, and if you plan on wearing your shoes frequently, this is your best bet. The amount of wear goes up exponentially with a dancer’s sole and when we do this for a customer, we usually don't see them for months."

2. Try on shoes for 10 minutes before buying them. "When people go to a store to buy shoes, they usually try them on and do one quick back and forth walk. This is not enough time. I’d recommend spending 5-10 minutes in the shoes. If you get the wrong size, it doesn’t matter how much you stretch or tighten them, they will never fit correctly. It is impossible to stretch even a half size, so if they’re too small, leave them."

3. Beware of escalators, decks, and grates. "We get so many torn up heel covers. You can replace the leather covers on the heel of course, but it’ll never be exactly the same as the original."

4. Pets love expensive shoes. "If you have a dog, do not leave your expensive shoes on the floor. There have been shoes that we’ve had to rebuild from scratch because a dog chewed through the entire back heel and stiletto. And for cat owners: Don’t let them sleep in your purse. If they go to the bathroom in it, you won't ever be able to get the smell out."

5. Leather and rubber needs to be exercised. "If you haven’t worn a shoe for over a year or longer, the rubber heel tap and leather can dry out. We’ve seen heel taps disintegrate as soon as a customer puts shoes on after a long break and the leather upper can crack just by flexing them. lf you have shoes you love and only wear on rare occasion, you should either condition them ever so often, or wear them around the house so that the rubber and leather have a chance to flex and move."

6. Store light-colored patent leathers separately. "Your light colored patent leather shoes and purses should never be stored with any other colored leather or plastics. They will absorb the other color, and it will be impossible to take it out. I would even recommend wrapping them in tissue, especially when you travel and carry multiple shoes in a suitcase. (If there is color transfer, you do have the option to dye the shoe black.)"

7. A trick for one-time wear. "You can dye light to dark, but not dark to light...except for one-time use. If you want to use the shoes for one day (maybe your wedding day or any other one-day event), and never plan on wearing them again, this could be the option for you. Just keep in mind that if you scuff them, the dark color will show underneath."

And one last thing!

Your denim is like sandpaper to purses. "We get a lot of customers that come in with stained purses. If you have a light colored purse, please don’t let it rub against your jeans. For leather, we can clean it and add a little polish or dye, but it will never look exactly as it once did. For suede and canvas purses, we have to scrub the stain out so the suede can change colors where the stain once was. You must remember that the material of your denim is grooved like sandpaper - so not only does the dye transfer onto your purse, but your denim is literally sanding your purse."